The Transport has landed

Friends, romans, countrymen, lend me your ears... The only good piece of news I've had this past week is that the transport has indeed landed! In other words, my colour code is now officially turned dark green, which means that my film has been received by the folks at Sundance!! That comes as a huge relief for me as the long wait for the acknowlegement from Sundance has been turning me batty! Now, my anxiety takes on another form. Now I worry about whether my film will be accepted into Sundance. And that is the mother of all worries.

Related to all this of course is the fact that I realised that, really, I am an amateur. Being a first time filmmaker, I know next to nothing about 'conforming' your film, the complexities of colour correction, colour grading, upconverting to HD and the like. It was not until I had asked my intern at TP (who's a poly grad in video production) that I realised that there are a lot of students out there already who have their short films colour corrected by the experts. I was aware earlier of post porduction houses doing colour correction but I was unaware that the colour correction abilities of Final Cut Pro are low resolution at best and should not be counted upon when you are submitting your film to a film festival. Although I knew colour correction would be expensive, I hadn't actually confronted the figures until my intern introduced me to the good folk at Blackmagic Design, who actually laughed at my face when they heard of the budget I had. They actually ask for $3800 a day for usage of their facility. I told them I had a budget of $2000 in all. But I had until december to finish it. Thankfully, the person I spoke to, Dixie, agreed to help me, after of course, chuckling at my microscopic budget. I also thoroughly exposed my ignorance when she asked me whether I had conformed, whether I had effects laden shots and everything. It was then that I knew that I am an amateur. Not that I didn't know before. But to have someone illuminate it to you that you are an amateur is truly a humbling experience.

I had gone about everything in a gung-ho manner so far, as I knew that the slightest hint of a doubt from me would have sunk my self-belief and my desire to complete the film. Being the practical guy that I was, if I had thoroughly examined how much I knew and how stacked the odds were against me, the practical Chinese man in me would've simply dismissed the idea of making a film long ago. Thankfully (or is it unfortunately?) my foolhardy nature egged me on and I've managed to hobble together something which I can submit. Although the film is technically very amateurish, my hope is that the powers that be will overlook my lack of skills, and see the story (not much of a story also i think) and the potential in my script, to give me chance at the brass ring.

I have long since told everyone that this film is for my personal fulfillment above all. That is entirely true. But being a Libran, I am also very ambitious and am prone to delusions of grandeur. Secretly in my heart, I wish for this film to be picked up by a distributor so I can pay off my mortgage and stop being a slave for the bank. Although this wish might not come true, the wishful thinking kid in me still clings on to the hope that I can make it. And that is one of the reasons why I love the motto that Steve Jobs told the graduating students of Stanford a while back. He said, "Stay hungry, stay foolish." For a person who has accomplished so much, Steve Jobs' belief in this motto tells us that once upon a time, he was like one of us - just a ordinary man who was hungry enough and foolish enough to try and reach for things which were way beyond his reach. And it was because he was hungry enough to ask for so much, to aim for the stars and that he was foolish enough to think that he could actually make it that ultimately propelled him to the success he has today. When I think about how foolish I have been in making this film and how foolish I am still in peddling it around with no money, I keep Steve Jobs firmly in mind, knowing that some 30 years ago, a similarly foolish man was peddling homemade computers made out of his garage and he had succeeded despite naming his computer after a fruit. I hope that this foolishness gets me somewhere. But most importantly, I hope. :)