Back To Earth

Its been a long time since I updated my blog. Seems I still only update my blog only when major events rock my world. Still haven't quite completed the second chapter of the world according to Ah Siong but I promise, it'll come, eventually... ha! Just returned from reservist training. Super long exercise involving virtually the whole nation. The good news is that I'm finally back to civilisation. The bad news is that I'm back at work (yes I hate work more than I hate NS now! That's world changing news to those of you who know how much I hate NS!) and that I still have six more years of NS before I can give the government the finger.

Then, there's the other big news bomb. I got an email from Sundance. And of course, they rejected me. I was excited for a full ten seconds. But then when I read the first words, "Thank you", I knew it was bad. A nicely written reject letter no doubt - one that I'll keep as prove of my little failed attempt at participation - but I'm sure it was a routine automated email they send everybody. So, right now I'm no different from thousands of other losers who have similar emails. They can all claim to have just missed the bar so I guess this means my entry is only as good as the worst piece of thrash that got rejected. Gotta get myself into another festival. Yup. Still have Berlin and Santa Barbara who haven't replied. So there's still hope in the world. Barely.

Anyway, that's the big news in my part of the world. I was actually dreaming of being selected by Sundance, making plans to go to the States for one last hurrah before using up all my cash and being dirt poor again but I guess that's all gone to the gutters. Still, can't blame a guy for dreaming. The plan was to wait for reservist to end, for the Sundance announcement to be out before I could free myself of upcoming committments for the next phase - get a new job. Yup, without these two things to think about, I'm now looking for a new job. Don't know what I can land but I know being at Temasek Polytechnic is a temporay cash measure and not a place to stay. However, some part of me can't help but acknowledge that the job duties at TP is unimaginably light! I'm technically only supposed to write two magazines a year! A year! Of course, I'll likely be shovelling shit for the next few months doing mundane things to justify my pay. Actually, the main aim of getting a new job is to make more money cos TP falls way short of how much I used to get at Starhub. Giving up five months of bonus a year does tend to dent your wallet a bit.

So now, I'm back at the crossroads. What do I do for a living now? God knows I'm sick of print. I'll still give Premiere magazine a go if they'll ever hire me. I'll love to be at HBO or Discovery. But more than anything else, I still long to write a script that I am truly proud of and love. That magical story that'll make everyone go wow! Not just a personal, budget conscious story but a story with no regard for budget. One that I can't produce myself. I think that might make the writer in me happy again although, a story that I can't produce myself might not ever see the light of day. Unless it gets discovered in a script contest or by hollywood.

The sad thing to all this is that I'm facing the same choice I did more than a year ago when I first quit my job. I still need to find a way to accumulate assets instead of slaving away at a mindless job. The difference is that I now know what I love to do and what I'm capable of. The downside is that what I love to do is very expensive and has a high barrier of entry to anyone who isn't already famous. The good thing from all this? I've found my centre. I know who I am now and I have proof of my journey. I know that even if I drop dead tomorrow, the world will still have proof of Terence Koh the filmmaker. And I've got a story now to hang my hat on when my grandchildren ask me what big adventures I've been on. Now I just have to make sure that I get to have grandchildren. But that's a whole different story. Peace. Out.