The Mayor of Angst City...

That's my new name. Or so that's how I come across to most people nowadays. I met two of my colleague's friends a while back and that's how they describe me - very angsty, full of angst. Which in Singapore speak means I very frus most of the time lor.

Today's one of those shitty days again. I swear, if I have a penny for every stupid, incompetent, skivving boss that I meet, I'd be a millionaire by now. I'd spare you the details of this particular tirade. Sigh.

You know what makes this world a strange place? Its us. Humans. We are the worst thing to have happened to this planet we're on. Exotic animals roaming free, green grass, ice snowscapes, clear oceans and what do we do? We dig into the ground for dead fossils then spend the next 100 years trying to burn all these fossils so we can fuel our stupid money making industrial complexes. Scientists say the summer Arctic snowcaps will permanently disappear in 30 years time. That would bring about the extinction of polar bears and God knows how much more wildlife. I feel sickened when I think about that. (Beary, snowy, I'm sorry your mum and I couldn't preserve your hometown.)

But I digress. Nope, the mayor of Angst City doesn't get his mandate just from ecological injustice. Its the small stuff that really gets my goat. I know I should be more Zen like and just be happier. But folks, there wouldn't be this blog you're reading if I was so god damn happy, now would it? So for all those folks out there who think I've been a pain in the ass with all my angst, I have this message for you, "Please kindly fuck off and don't visit this blog anymore. Really. Nobody's forcing you to listen. Go live your life and I'll live mine. Without you." I do apologise to you, the rest of my friends, to have to hear such vitriol from me. God knows I hate having angry feelings. It literally makes me ill. But folks who know me, and who've read my earlier blog (July 6th, 2005 entry, "Pidgeonhole me, please..") will know that I hate people who pidgeon-hole me. My response to being pidgeon-holed is to be what you want me to be. If you want so badly to think of me that way, who am I to stop you from having your own opinion? You can safely go about having your opinion. You're perfectly entitled to it and I'm perfectly fine with it. You'll just not be privy to the real me anymore. If all you want is your idea of me, then just for you, I'll be exactly who you think I am. That way you get what you want and I don't have to waste time convincing you otherwise.

Some people think I'll always be this worry wart and that I'll never be satisfied. It doesn't matter what they think. I'm just really lucky that my wife knows me very well and she shares my bliss. I'm really grateful to God for you Boo. You are my rock. When nobody in this world gets me, you do. I love you. As long as you can share my happiness, I don't care if the rest of this world thinks I'm a sauerkraut. We'll be as happy as two peas in a pod.